THINKIES & THOUGHTIES: Question 12

thinkiesandthoughtiesQuestion 12: What would make you happier: gaining more control over what happens in your life or gaining more control over your response to what happens? How might you gain such control?

I don’t remember a time when personal drive and passion didn’t work together to get results. There were always certain things I couldn’t have, or can’t have now, which I still want the opportunity to explore. If I were to gain control over those things, I would have to change peoples’ minds. I would have to take control away from them. I couldn’t do that.

Letting go of those certain things is difficult, but I think that’s why I want more control over my response to what happens. It isn’t a constant in my life, but in the past, I spent plenty of time analyzing and worrying about things that had or hadn’t yet happened. I self-sabotaged myself before I could even try to succeed. I spent a lot of time ignoring what needed to be dealt with.

I’ve grown up a lot since those years, and I spend a lot less time festering. But even with great personal transformation, there are a couple parts of myself I’m not fond of, nor respect. Some parts have been with me for a long time; others are new. Either way, I hope to gain more control over how I react to myself so I can grow again. I hope to do the right thing. Now, it’s just a matter of figuring out what that is.

 
View Jennifer’s answer to Question 11

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Thinkies & Thoughties is inspired by The Book of Questions by Doctor Gregory Stock. Grab a cup of coffee — or something a little stronger — and sit down, open up, and share yourself every Friday.

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10 thoughts on “THINKIES & THOUGHTIES: Question 12

    • Not that I like this cliche, but I think life works in “mysterious ways,” and I wonder if gaining more control over what happens to you will lead you down pathways you actually don’t want, but thought you might. Thank you for commenting!

  1. I would like more control over my response. I have no filter, so whatever is in my head comes straight out of my mouth. Sometimes it’s funny,
    sometimes it’s sad, and sometimes it’s hurtful. I wish a lot of the times I could take back somethings I’ve said, but once it’s out of my mouth it’s too late. You can’t ask someone to un-hear something. I’m too quick to anger and once angered I’m too quick to speak out. It’s something I’ve been trying very hard to control and have yet to find a solution for.

    • This is a very thoughtful response, Bonnie! As far as I can tell, you are a strong woman who feels in control of her life. But, it can be unfortunate when thoughts, especially when fleeting, roll out of our mouth and can’t be taken back. However, I think this makes a person more truthful than other people who never speak their mind. So, perhaps, learning to present your thoughts in a tactful manner is best — I would hate for you to lose your honesty. What do you think?

      • I fully agree with you about the tactful part. I know I don’t hold back, and I like the honesty part of me, but I think I need to learn tact, and part of that is learning to think before I speak, so we’re right back to the “no filter” thing that I’m trying to control. Thanks for your comments though, they are very much appreciated.

  2. I feel like I have a pretty good control over my emotions and response to things so I guess I would choose having more control over what happens to me. Although, I recently watched a very insightful and thought-provoking Disney channel original movie called “Zapped” and it taught me that having control over the things that happen to me in my life can backfire and have very negative consequences. But I might end-up winning the high school dance off with the mean girl’s varsity squad anyway.

    But honestly, I think you gain more control over the things that happen to you by taking control. You make decisions, choose to act; not just let life happen to you. Not that I’m very good at that, but I think that’s how you do it.

    • That was a very insightful movie, wasn’t it? But I agree with you: the best way to gain control over your life is to make active decisions. Like you said, this isn’t always easy. I think my aunt said it well: I get up, go to work, come home, do chores, play on the computer, repeat, infinity. I live through each of those moments, focused on each of those tasks, and never stop to look up and look around. Then, once in a great while, I do look up, and I realize that whole days, or even weeks, or even months, have gone by since the last time I stopped and looked around. In the VERY wise words of Mr. Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”.

  3. I have a fairly outstanding grasp on my reactions to life, so by process of elimination I’d be happier with a greater ability to control what happens in my life. I’m positive, adaptable, and tend to see the silver lining. I wouldn’t want 100 percent control over what happens, but something comes up every once in a while that I’d love to be able to simply make work out.

    I’ve no special insight into how I’d make that happen. I just adapt, grow, and try again.

    • Justin, I feel similarly. Through great pain and transformation, I believe I have control over most of the things in my life. But there are certain events or whatnot that a personal choice cannot alter. Or, if a personal choice can alter it, the consequences are likely unwanted and discourage me from trying. Thank you for posting!

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