I’m blessed to have had a true best friend and an ideal romantic partner.
During our closest years, my best friend and I secured a state of being, if you will, that permitted us to exist without boundaries. We didn’t censor our conversations or seek fillers to excite our time together. We might go on an 8-mile walk one day, sit on her bed and sing to our favorite bands another, or take a daylong bus ride into the city the next – it didn’t matter. Time didn’t threaten us. Honesty didn’t threaten us. We were meant to be.
Then romance dances its way into my life. Romance is such a double-edged sword for me. On one side, romance is extremely exciting and fun. I think my favorite moments come between friendship and a mutual awareness of romantic feelings. The other side: debilitating nerves and hesitance. Performance anxiety, amma right? Going on dates scare the crud out of me. My tendency is to become hesitant around a romantic interest – at least until I establish security. I also think romantic infatuation may overpower honesty. An interaction becomes a means for impressing that person instead of being free.
Thankfully, after enough time with my romantic soul mate, my hesitance mellowed out and my true personality showed through without my noticing. What began as a rocky but exciting process bloomed into a variation of what I shared with my best friend: we just exist. We just love.
Even so, I believe there is always a level of hesitance when conversing with a romantic interest. We protect our relationship with peppered censorship. Many couples act out parts in order to regain lost passion. There may be parts of you they will never see.
Overall, there are just certain things I don’t share with friends and acquaintances and there are certain things I don’t share with a romantic interest, that I would, no doubt, share with my best friend.
I would have dinner with someone who completely frees me. I would have dinner with a potential best friend.
Thinkies & Thoughties is inspired by The Book of Questions by Doctor Gregory Stock. Grab a cup of coffee — or something a little stronger — and sit down, open up, and share yourself every Friday.
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