THINKIES & THOUGHTIES: Question 19

thinkiesandthoughtiesQuestion 19: Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you invite to dinner? a friend? a lover? What might you seek in a friend that you don’t expect from a lover?

I’m blessed to have had a true best friend and an ideal romantic partner.

During our closest years, my best friend and I secured a state of being, if you will, that permitted us to exist without boundaries. We didn’t censor our conversations or seek fillers to excite our time together. We might go on an 8-mile walk one day, sit on her bed and sing to our favorite bands another, or take a daylong bus ride into the city the next – it didn’t matter. Time didn’t threaten us. Honesty didn’t threaten us. We were meant to be.

Then romance dances its way into my life. Romance is such a double-edged sword for me. On one side, romance is extremely exciting and fun. I think my favorite moments come between friendship and a mutual awareness of romantic feelings. The other side: debilitating nerves and hesitance. Performance anxiety, amma right? Going on dates scare the crud out of me. My tendency is to become hesitant around a romantic interest – at least until I establish security. I also think romantic infatuation may overpower honesty. An interaction becomes a means for impressing that person instead of being free.

Thankfully, after enough time with my romantic soul mate, my hesitance mellowed out and my true personality showed through without my noticing. What began as a rocky but exciting process bloomed into a variation of what I shared with my best friend: we just exist. We just love.

Even so, I believe there is always a level of hesitance when conversing with a romantic interest. We protect our relationship with peppered censorship. Many couples act out parts in order to regain lost passion. There may be parts of you they will never see.

Overall, there are just certain things I don’t share with friends and acquaintances and there are certain things I don’t share with a romantic interest, that I would, no doubt, share with my best friend.

I would have dinner with someone who completely frees me. I would have dinner with a potential best friend.

 
View Jennifer’s answer to Question 18

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Thinkies & Thoughties is inspired by The Book of Questions by Doctor Gregory Stock. Grab a cup of coffee — or something a little stronger — and sit down, open up, and share yourself every Friday.

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2 thoughts on “THINKIES & THOUGHTIES: Question 19

  1. This one is hard. Do I choose someone I know, that I have had the opportunity to eat with in the past and will in the future? But, it says anyone in the world and that seems like a wasted opportunity.

    Do I choose someone I’ve never met before but always wanted to? That seems kinda risky. What if they’re super boring, or annoying, or chew with their mouth open? No, I can’t have that.

    Maybe a family member that’s died? Well, that raises some other questions. Are they coming back as themselves or are they undead? It would be hard to enjoy a nice meal when I’m worried about them wanting to eat my brains.

    I could just say I choose my soulmate, whoever that may be, and trust that the universe will find that person and tell them when and where to meet me for a meal. But I have a lot of trust issues and don’t have a lot of confidence in the universe helping me out.

    Can I just get some take-out for one in my room? That seems to be the easiest solution.

    • I had a lot of trouble answering this question too! I think having dinner with your soul mate is the best choice. That person might not fulfill you in ways you expect, but they are your best companion, nonetheless. I happen to believe you have more than one soul mate in life — whether romantic or kindred spirits. I would want to have dinner with ALL of them! (if they actually exist…)

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