I started using chat sites every day when I was in sixth grade. Teen Chat. Dollieden. Avatar Palace. I even had a small crush on a cute British boy who lived in New York City. Over the course of one full year, and as our friendship grew, I realized he meant the world to me, even though I’d never heard his voice or touched his skin. I typically fall for personality, the very essence of someone, and conversing through instant messaging was good enough for me. At the end of eighth grade summer, celebrating a full year of friendship, I fell in love with Lawrence Glen-sik.
This was when a much unexpected conversation started. Law logged onto AIM. He felt nauseous and lightheaded and believed someone at a party slipped a drug into his drink. The guy Law suspected then handed him a box — asked if he wanted some pills. Law took a few, not really caring what they were, and chased them down with the rest of the soda.
Law began to act really confused after that. He talked about committing suicide. I was going to lose the love of my life and there was nothing I could do from behind my screen. Thus sparked my fear and hate for drugs.
While I begged for him to hold on, Law just kept repeating: you don’t know the real me.
“My name is Jessie,” Law told me. “I’ve faked this identify for three years.”
“I was just gonna kill him off,” she told me, “but I realized I couldn’t do that to you.”
The boy I loved was just a bunch of giggly girls in New York, or wherever they actually were.
I wasn’t naive enough to think people didn’t fake identities on the Internet, but I never expected someone to lie for that many years. It felt completely random and unexpected. It’s interesting looking back on this because I had forgotten why I loathed drugs so much, or why I felt compelled to save future friends from drug abuse. For why I somehow feel conflicted by drug use still.
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