Hello, fellow literary people!
This week, Jennifer gets up close and personal by answering quirky and serious questions with a bottle of wine.
1) What scares you the most about Google?
They want to upload your consciousness to the web, and I don’t exactly know how that works. It seems like it might make a copy of your consciousness, like cloning yourself, so you as an identify don’t actually go anywhere. You die, but your other identity lives on. But I want to live on! So f— screw that other identity.
2) When did you feel the most hopeless?
I was in third grade and a kid would not stop tormenting me no matter what I did. I tried to distance myself from him and he wouldn’t leave me alone; I tried to be his friend, I tried to make him laugh, and he wouldn’t stop picking on me. I remember lying in my bed, crying because I had to go to school the next day, and I couldn’t do anything to make him stop being mean to me. Most of the time, I feel like there is something I can do to improve a situation; even if I’m not ready to do it, there is a prospect of action (I can foresee actions that will lead to fixing it) and I aspire to reach those and be able to do those actions. In this situation, I couldn’t think of anything I could do to stop being picked on by this guy. That was the most hopeless I have felt: third grade Jennie in bed, crying, because I had to go to school the next day.
3) What is your least favorite thing?
Being more interested in proving your own point than trying to understand someone else’s point. I also really dislike it when people are cruel to other people in public for no reason at all. I hate that.
4) Have you ever gained happiness from guilty means?
I used to take pleasure in making people jealous. Wiggling my way into friendships was fun, like if I could become the best friend and break up someone’s friendship. If I didn’t like someone, I liked doing things that made them jealous. I liked owning things that made people jealous. I think a lot of that had to do with my earlier elementary school years; I didn’t have a lot and wasn’t valued as much as other girls. Girls made me feel bad for that, so I learned to value having and performing (which I wasn’t good at, so I made up for it by inducing jealousy in others).
5) Can you be best friends with your significant other?
I believe you should be best friends with the person you are romantically involved with. But, you will always think that, maybe, they are biased. Having another source of validation kind of gives you confirmation — it confirms the person who loves you and wants you to be everything isn’t just making it up. You trust them, but I think there is always a part of you who thinks your significant other wants it so bad that they may overlook certain negatives of your personality. So you need friends, you need family, or some other person, who says, “Yeah, you are great,” and “You are worthy,” and “You are talented,” and “You can do great things” as just another proof.
[This other person can and should be yourself].
Join the adventure by subscribing
New episodes are periodically posted on Mondays.